Written by Monkey Woods
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Friday, 30 January 2009

image for President Obama Says Current Recession Will Become 'A Disaster'
Can you think of any new and interesting ways to describe a shitshower?

US President Barack Obama has said the contraction of the US economy in the final quarter of 2008 will become "a disaster" for the country.

Speaking at the White House, he also said that what had started out as 'a blip', had first become a slump, then a downturn and a recession. It would, he said, soon turn into a depression, then a disaster, an unholy mess and, eventually, an absolute freaking catastrophe.

It is the first time the United States has been described with so many consecutive negative terms since 1991.

President Obama then announced the formation of a special task force headed by Vice President Joe Biden, that would endeavour to come up with even more new and interesting ways in which to describe the state of America's plight.

Mr Biden spoke briefly to give the electorate a glimpse of the kind of words they can expect to hear in the coming months. He said:

"We're in trouble. It's a real shitshower!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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