Written by Pointer

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Topics: Republicans, rapture

Friday, 30 January 2009

image for US Repubs Vanish; Could it Be the Rapture?
The final trumpet was sounded by a Republican angel with little or no soul

Gallop polls report that only five states' citizens identify as Republicans. Four are Mormon strongholds and the fifth favors hometown queen Sarah Palin.

The poll, which featured a gigantic sample, seems to suggest that the solid south has evaporated and that the only strong collection of Repubs are even stronger in their belief that America has a divine destiny revealed by the angel Moroni and that many of them will rule universes in the afterlife.

The few conservative Christians left in the US of A explain the disappearance of the once silent and now vanished moral majority as the result of Christ Jesus' prediction that in the last days the righteous will be caught up in the air and the sinners like democrats, murderers, thieves, sodomites(read democrats) and Satan worshipers (read liberal democrats) will be left behind (see Tim LaHaye).

When the remaining republican loyalists were ask why they were not raptured they stuttered and stammered and finally explained that they were chosen to be the prophets of the last days and that they would be raptured really really soon.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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