Written by Illusnist
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Thursday, 29 January 2009

image for Blagojevich Creates News Slump
"Ahh, screw this, I'm going home."

After two months of weekly exploits that have previously only been observed in comic books, Rod Blagojevich is today being accused by U.S. news services as creating a slump in headlines by being unanimously impeached late Thursday afternoon.

One editor, consulted during a smoking break, said, "Now what are we going to do for news? Without Rod's weekly antics, we may be forced to report items of interest. How can we be expected to do that, on short notice?"

As you may recall, the notorious, and now infamous ex-Governor from Illinois made spoof and skit writers happy time after time with antics that could be reported without exaggeration time after time.

Today, after making U.S. legal history by boycotting his wn impeachment trial, Mr. Blagojevich chose to make closing remarks. After 90 minutes of proclaiming that he wasn't guilty because all of the deals he had negotiated fell through, he concluded by imploring the Illinois State Government to not take him away from his beloved constituents.

M-Theory researchers in Seattle are working on a mathematical explanation for the entire fiasco, but mainstream media has sadly packed its bags, and moved on to other things.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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