Written by Illusnist
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Thursday, 29 January 2009

Unable to resist the magnetism of rolling cameras, Rod Blagojevich dropped by his impeachment hearings long enough to make a speech today. Previously, the Illinois State Governor had stated that he would not attend his own impeachment, citing several reasons including simple disbelief.

Today's speech, which did not allow cross examination, or offer a question and answer period afterwards, was delivered immediately before the Illinois State Attorney General issued his closing statements regarding the requested impeachment of the Governor.

"If they won't let me invite my friends to the party, then I'm not going t pretend to be their friend," Blagojevich remarked. "The people elected me for two terms without knowing any of this was going on behind the scenes, and they've been happy that way. Now some Federal guys are trying to spoil it for my constituents, and show them the other side of my business dealings."

In a rare move meant to give the Governor a psychological advantage, his speech was given with a lock of hair out of place, negating another rumor that the Governor's hair is not even real.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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