Written by Dan Rosa
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Wednesday, 28 January 2009

image for Washingtonian: "I Think Something Big May Have Happened Last Weekend"
Hurley - life passing him by

Dave Hurley, 36, thinks something big may have happened last weekend.

Hurley, who rents a small studio in Dupont Circle, noticed a massive swell of people from the 17th to the 20th. "It was so weird," he recounted. "I looked out my window on Tuesday morning and just saw these throngs of people. I sorta freaked out, so I sat down to think about it.

"First, I thought it might be something to do with Obama-haha, ya I know I'm stupid!-but then I realized that the election happened in November, so I ruled that out.

"Then, I figured it must be a problem with the Metro, but I ruled that out because those friggin' people looked waaay to desperate to get to work.

"Finally, I realized it was because Starbucks was stopping producing non-caffeinated coffee at noon. Personally, I don't wait more than 10 minutes for my caramel macchiato, but power to the people, as they say.

"Overall, though, it was a sweet day. I called work and nobody answered, so I just stayed home and played World of Warcraft for like 10 hours. Awesome!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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