Today, former Chicago mafia crime boss puppet senator and new mafia puppet US President Barack Obama announced plans to move the US capital to Chicago.
'This will make it easier for the true leaders of the planet to run the US,' Obama said in his devilishly good sounding voice that has been trained by the best manipulators in the business. 'My puppet masters (David Rockefeller and Lord Rothschild) have been meaning to do this for ages and now that everyone is admitting there actually is a New World Order, thanks to the economic crisis that they engineered to consolidate even more of the world's wealth and resources into their hands - they have put it in on my shoulders to carry out this operation. It is just one of the many tyrannical New World Order agenda things we all hope to push through within 200 days of my inauguration. Next will be the guns, then the pensions, then the food riots, then the Fema camps, then the national service and then my own brown shirt style private army.'
He paused for a second and gave us a look that sent the cold chill of evil death through our vains.
'You all wanted change did you?' he continued. 'Well you're sure going to get it! It is just not going to be change for the better - but change for the worse!'
Barack then started to ignore us as if we hadn't existed for the last ten minutes. We felt like invisible ghosts as we sat there and watched him as he delved into his Little Blue Book - which is available on Amazon...
(You'll find it in the same section as Mao's Little Red Book).