AP, Helion, Stardate 17549.1. In a move unprecedented in American politics, Vin Diesel agreed to accept the Republican Vice Presidential candidacy, only days after accepting the Democratic VP candidacy (reported in The Spoof on Stardate 17549). Diesel will now be running on both tickets in a true bipartisan gesture.
"Vin's the Man!" said President George Bush, "His acceptance takes a lot of pressure off of me and the American voters. Now the country can concentrate more of its time on shopping, airline safety and learning the countries of the EU." Bush made his decision after renting the movie "Boiler Room" and concluding Diesel is a staunch Republican.
Republicans are reportedly relieved that current VP Dick Cheney will be out of the picture and immediately dismantled his secret bunker. "We won't need the bunker anymore," said Republican workman Bruce Widcliff, "Vin doesn't hide from anyone."
Party leaders all agreed that Diesel would draw voters. "He's known in major galaxies everywhere," said Republican National Committee (RNC)Chairman Ed Gillespie, "His name recognition is huge. The only votes he may not receive are from special interest groups like the Necromongers, but, thanks to Vin, there aren't that many of them left."
Diesel and Bush know each other from chance meetings in other galaxies.