President Barack Obama "hit the ground running" on his first day in office, but alert Secret Service agents caught up with him halfway across the White House lawn and brought him back.
"He never even got close to the fence." said Secret Service agent Darryl Carlisle. "We were sort of expecting something like this, but not on the first day."
Tourists standing outside the fence were also surprised. "Wow, that guy can run!", said 10 year old Bobby Dinsdale, on vacation with his parents. Bobby's father Milton said, "We were all cheering him on-for a few seconds it looked like he might actually make it, but those Secret Service agents came out of nowhere. We all felt bad when they caught him, and from the look on his face, he wasn't too happy about it either. But I got some great pictures..."
A weeping Obama, yelling "For God's sake, help me, somebody!" was dragged back into the White House shortly before 9 am, where it is expected that he will begin tackling the many issues facing the country.
"You know, he's just going to have to accept this", said Carlisle. "We go through this every four years. They think they want the job, then panic once they're here. I remember back in 2004 when Bush was re-elected, he tried the same stunt, but he didn't make it nearly as far as Obama did. And Cheney was a big help back then, firing those warning shots over his head to slow him down. No doubt we have our work cut out for us with Obama. Change has come to Washington, and it's our job to make sure it stays right here."