CHICAGO, Illinois - Talk show host, media mogul, and the new Secretary of The Treasury Oprah Winfrey has just announced that she is personally lending the United States government $2 billion.
Ms. Winfrey, owns five mansions in five different states. She also owns The Sears Towers, The Chicago White Sox, The Chicago Black Hawks, a Jack-in-the-Box, Stedman Graham, and a fully equipped, state-of-the-art Polaris submarine, The USS Rosa Parks.
The new Secretary of the Treasury said that she met with President Obama in the White House's Sitting Bull Sitting Room and that he asked her if she could please loan the U.S. $1 billion.
She told him that she would be extremely happy and tremendously honored to make a loan to her country. But she added, that it would not be for $ 1 billion, but $2 billion.
It is reported that President Obama was so excited that he stood up, gave Oprah a high five, a fist bump, and he then tried to pick her up.
But Oprah being the overweight billionaire that she is and the new president tumbled down to the plush imported Arabian carpeted floor.
Luckily, there were three secret service agents present and instinctly they quickly moved in, with guns drawn, and picked President Obama and Miss Oprah up off the floor.
In related news. Oprah's business manager Bernie Menachem Leibowitz has revealed that Ms. Winfrey is currently in negotiations to purchase the Mississippi River.