The Inauguration of the Forty Fourth President of the United States was marred today by intermediate violence and upheaval when the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court administering the oath of Office, Stu Piddington, ineptly asked Mr Obama to say the following words: "That I will execute faithfully all black men under the office of the President of Kenya."
Mr Obama, looking stern and just a little irritated, grabbed the Chief Justice by the throat and then proceeded to place Mr Piddington in a half-Nelson, to which the Supreme Court head replied with a knee to the President-elect's groin. From there things really descended into chaos as the duo were joined by Vice President Joe Biden and ex President George W Bush who started their own wrestling match, only to be joined by half the audience on the podium who couldn't resist the temptation to have a jolly good old fist fight (much like the bar room brawls one would see in Hollywood Westerns).
The ensuing scenes had to be seen to be believed as Marine Guards rushed in to break up the melee only to be pushed back by Democrat Party representatives saying "don't spoil the fun, this is how American politics should be".
After a period of 30 minutes or so (though it felt like several hours) order was restored and the Oath of Office was then administered by a Mr Eric Leadbetter, who stumbled into the area looking for a Porta-loo.
Mr Leadbetter had minutes earlier been sitting out in the Mall awaiting the start of the inauguration when nature called and he walked half a mile in search of a water closet to relieve himself. Mr Obama has asked the US Senate to confirm Mr Leadbetter's appointment as Chief of Staff following his serendipitous appearance at the ceremony.