Eminently tolerant Barack Obama mystified his many liberal supporters by selecting neoconservative reverend rick warren to offer the opening invocation at the his inauguration. Warren's reputation is based on a pop religionist best seller and his willingness to support the poor and the environment while fighting against gay and women's rights.
Many anticipated a dramatic admission from the holy man that he repented his sins of discrimination during the opening prayer. To the shock and awe of all assembled, Warren displayed his crucifix of the gay Jesus. The righteous chaplain of the Fundamentalist Right addressed his clay gay Lord on a rough hewn cross:
"If you returned today as a gay man to planet earth, I would put you on the same cross that the Roman and Jewish leaders used to send you rocketing back to your overly inclusive heaven. I, for one, am not ready for your unconditional love!"