Frustrated by an inability to choose between a Portuguese Water Dog and a Goldendoodle, and concerned that not selecting a dog from a rescue could generate more criticism from animal rights and rescue groups, AND already criticized by breeders for not selecting a poodle, Barack and Michelle Obama announced today that they will not be getting a puppy.
"We are bright people," the first couple said, ivy league lawyers, in fact, so we decided to "think outside the box."
Instead of beating ourselves up over what kind of dog to get and worrying about Malia's allergies, we have chosen a different pet: an armadillo.
A White House spokesperson explained, since armadillos are furless, the allergy problem will never arise. Also, no barking and no biting, so the press corps and every other White House visitor will never need to fear the pet. Better yet, every year countless hapless armadillos are wounded in car accidents in the Southwest and by adopting one as the White House pet, the first family can provide the best rehab available along with a good safe home for the future.