As Barack Obama attempted to take the oath of office, Secret Service agents pounced on an intoxicated George W. Bush just as the 43rd President hurled both of his shoes at the incoming Chief Executive.
"You bastard!" the outgoing President yelled from the stairwell to the right of the inaugural podium. "This is from me and Joe the Plumber!"
As the treasury police wrestled Bush to the ground, Vice President Dick Cheney and actor Chuck Norris rushed toward the newly sworn-in President from the aisle leading up to the dais. Their faces were painted in camouflage and both wore bright red headbands.
"Ollie, Ollie, Ox in Free," the pair, brandishing home-made tomahawks, screamed like screech owls or the low moans of a dog or wolf in pain. They were tackled to the ground by incoming Secretary of State Hillary Clinton before they could reach Obama.