The historic $750 billion in bail out money will be spent to help Ford, GM, and .... Oprah Winfrey. In a move that Nancy Pelosi and Harry Ried said that they will be sure to pass, new President Barack Obama has earmarked $25 billion dollars for talk show house and would be actress Oprah Winfrey.
"Have you seen how much she spent on my campaign?", asked the new President. "It practically bankrupted the most important day time talk show of our time. If Oprah went off the air, it might cost dozens of people in Chicago their jobs and would leave a daytime TV void that would be felt by generations. Dr. Phil would have to spend years trying to counsel upset housewives and the multi-generational out of work minority welfare recipients that voted for me."
When asked how he arrived at the figure of $25 billion, Obama said that "it is $1 million for each pound that Oprah has lost and then re-gained over the past 30 years."