Written by Ms. Writer
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Topics: Tax, Language

Monday, 19 January 2009

image for New "Syntax" Announced
Syntax Enforcement Officer?

In a constant effort to augment revenues and to solve a multitude of social problems, New Jersey officials today announced the implementation of a new "Syntax." "The way this works," the Governor proudly explained, "is that anytime some one makes a spelling or grammatical error, they will be taxed."

For years now, State Labor Department officials have been plagued by unemployed teachers, writers and editors. What better way to use the talents of these folks than by letting them have at the general public, one official opined during a press conference. It was undisputed that New Jersey was rife with errors to be mined for money.

Other groups within the State who have deplored the decline of the English language were surprised by the new tax, but admitted that it might go far to improve the dialog about English as a primary language. It was unclear at the time of the announcement if the Syntax was intended to apply to all languages in use in the State and if the employment opportunities created by the new tax would exceed what the drafters had estimated, and ultimately provide employment of Spanish, French and Urdu grammarians as well as the English teachers.

Conservative groups, not currently supporters of the tax agreed that profiteering off bad speech, grammar and spelling could be a way of using free market economics to make people pay for their mistakes in a way that what they consider to be a lax socialized education system has never been able to do.

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