In a move that critics think might be taking the Lincoln role model a bit too far, Barack Obama has officially changed his name to Abie Baby. The decision seems to have been prefigured by significant evidence:
Hanging around the Lincoln Memorial at really weird hours of the night, quoting Lincoln's little known declaration of himself as a white supremacist during a southern campaign speech, begging his wife to develop a serious mental illness and let him call her Mary Todd have all been interpreted at possible predictors of the odd name change.
The President Elect gave a news conference on the Civil war battlefield at gettysburg to comment on the change. Dressed in a baggy black suit, six inch lifts in his shoes, a stovepipe hat and a three day beard, he told reporters that the interview could only take fpur score and seven minutes since he had tickets to an evening performance at Ford's theater.