Written by Exislanda
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Saturday, 17 January 2009

image for Thomas the Tank Engine "Proud to Carry Obama"
Off His Rails! - tracks cleared for Presidential Chuff-Chuff

Quainton Road, Bucks - Thomas was "Chuffed!" said a spokesperson, "When we got the call from the US, he made tracks immediately to speed to the President Elect's request."

"We had to keep the news secret, under threat of water-boarding or extraordinary rendition. We thought that might be something to do with a performance of Handel's Water Music," said the railroad Buff, "But not sure, so we kept quiet anyhow. If I'd told the others, they would have sulked - Edward (the Blue Engine) would have felt shunted."

"Annie & Clarabel went with Thomas, Annie is so proud that the President and First Lady's bums will be on her seats. It was felt that those two could best keep the secret. Most of the trucks are silly and noisy. They talk a lot and don't attend to what they are doing... ...And, I'm sorry to say, they play tricks on an engine who is not used to them."

"Thomas loves them very much and the three of them are quite inseparable. Since they were pulled by Thomas, other engines have tried to pull them too. Usually this upsets Thomas as he becomes very worried that they don't catch something - he doesn't like it when others try to touch their buffers."

"We are avidly watching Thomas's progress from Philadelphia to Washington. Thomas is not at all concerned for his personal safety, despite all the security risks. In a letter to Greenpeace and Friends of the Earth, he wrote that he was 'not worried that security efforts might not extend to the larger community which may suffer serious consequences in case of even one moderate release of smoke and steam.'"

"I suspect it's being done, frankly, largely as a public relations ploy," said Bush II. "I don't think there's any particular threat along the train route."

In addition to the well-publicized "whistle stops" in Philadelphia; Wilmington, Delaware; and Baltimore, Maryland, Thomas said, "The public will have the opportunity to see me at other locations along the 137-mile route."

Former Beatles Drummer, Ringo Starr said "It will be Shining Time!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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