Written by Monkey Woods
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Friday, 16 January 2009

image for McDonalds Plan To Honour Hero Pilot Captain Chesley Sullenberger With New Burger Thwarted
McSullenburger - same old shit

Fast food giant, McDonalds, has been thwated in its efforts to honour the hero pilot of the Miracle In Hudson Bay, Chesley Sullenbeger, by selling a heroic new sandwich - the McSullenburger.

Captain Sullenberger safely landed his US Airways Airbus A320 in the Hudson River on Thursday after a flock of birds flew into the plane's engines, wiping out their power.

Now, America's favourite shit provider has decided it wants to cash in on the flyer's popularity by offering a burger that is essentially the same as all of its other burgers, but with a completely different name, and a cheap plastic aeroplane toy thrown in.

McDonalds have also revealed they will open two new branches of the chain on opposite banks of the Hudson close to where the Airbus splashed down.

But Captain Sullenberger, who has never visited a McDonalds in his life, said:

"I saved those passengers, and I'll be damned if I'm going to put the lives of millions of healthy Americans at risk. I'll not allow McDonalds to use my name on any of its produce. They can fuck off."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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