Written by Monkey Woods
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Thursday, 15 January 2009

image for US Airways Airbus A320 Crashes Into Hudson River Because Woman Was Overweight
Younis drags her lunch away from the scene

A US Airways Airbus A320 airliner with 155 people aboard which crashed into the Hudson River in New York City, did so because one of its passengers was massively overweight.

The flight, which had just left LaGuardia Airport was destined for Charlotte, North Carolina, but was already in trouble well before it left the runway as Angela Younis, 1465lbs, boarded the airplane.

Younis, who had just eaten dinner, had to be hoisted onto the plane and into her seat, and the flight was given a hurried all-clear to take off.

Immediately though, the signs were not good, as passengers described a groaning sound coming from all areas of the plane, and then an ear-shattering explosion as the two wing-mounted turbofan engines finally gave up the ghost.

As the pilot struggled to land the plane safely, Younis bellowed:

"Do not worry. I am an inflatable and, therefore, unsinkable. When we crash, hold onto me. You will be saved."

Thus, all 155 passengers and four crew members survived a frightening experience which has undoubtedly toughened their characters, and taught them never to board a flight again if a fat bastard has already got on.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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