Written by Adam Click
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Topics: chickens

Thursday, 15 January 2009

image for America's Chickens Have Come Home to Roost
"There are chickens everywhere!" complained New Yorker Sam Koch.

Port Huron,Mi.- Just days before the inauguration, President-Elect Barrack Obama has a new problem to contend with, chickens! From New Haven, Ct. to Palm Beach,Ca., from Seattle, Wa to Key West,Fl., agriculture, wildlife and customs officials scrambled today to keep up with the huge flocks of chickens coming home to roost.

First noticed in this small northern port town, chickens have been crossing the border in ever-increasing numbers and not just from Canada. Across the globe officials are struggling to find meaning to the sudden mass migration. While some ponder the meaning, others are just happy for the relief. Dan Greely, a farmer from Hamilton, Ontario, Canada, described his relief. "They came without warning, eating the feed from my own flock and using my facilities as their own. I'm just glad they're leaving as quickly."

Meanwhile in the states things aren't quite so rosy. "There are chickens everywhere!" complained New Yorker Sam Koch. "You walk through Central park and these flocks of chickens take wing, just like the pigeons used to do.They roost on the statues and wake you at the crack of dawn."

As officials cope with the sudden influx, ordinary citizens are struggling as well. The price of chicken has fallen through the floor. People are sick of eating the bird. Even Colonel Sanders can't keep up. "We're slaughtering and freezing them as fast as we can but our customers aren't buying and we're running out of space to store them. Lamented housewife Doris Frump, "When Hoover promised "a chicken in every pot", I never thought it would actually happen."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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