Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 15 January 2009

image for George Bush To Star With Robert Duvall In "Butch & Sundance - Weapons of The Wild West"
Hollywood stuntman Cody Kimbel who will be George Bush's stunt double in Butch & Sundance - Weapons of The Wild West

HOLLYWOOD, California - A spokesman for Paramount Pictures has just announced that they have signed President George Bush to star in the western, "Butch & Sundance - Weapons of The Wild West."

The movie will begin filming in early March just outside of Missoula, Montana. The film covers the year before Butch and Sundance traveled to Bolivia where they met their demise.

Bush will portray Butch Cassidy and Robert Duvall will star as The Sundance Kid. Duvall told ET's Mary Hart that he is really looking forward to working with the soon-to-be ex-president, whom he heard can really ride the hell out of a horse and ain't no slouch on a cow either.

Duvall then said, I also want to look right into his eyes and ask him who really dreamed up that 'weapons of mass destruction' horseshit.

Also appearing in the film will be Eva Longoria-Parker (no relation to Parker Stevenson) as Etta Place, the Sundance Kid's girlfriend. Eva reportedly said that she has been wanting to work with Robert Duvall ever since she was 31 (two years ago).

When asked to comment of President Bush, Eva made a face and replied, "I hear that he can speak a little Spanish."

Eva, who voted for Barack Obama, said that when she sees Bush on the set she will greet him and congratulate him on his election loss.

Longoria-Parker has denied rumors that she is pregnant. She said that her hubby (Spurs star Tony Parker) is just too busy making points on the basketball court to make points with her.

The film's director Yoshi Wakamatsu, Jr. said that Laura Bush will have a small cameo role in the movie. She will portray, Lilting Lil, an older Parisian can-can dancer who falls in love with Cassidy but is rejected because he would rather 'poke' a younger Parisian can-can dancer, Jolene Doolicker, who is portrayed by Paris Hilton.

When George Bush was asked about his role he said, "Well I saw the movie 'Butch Cassidy & The Sundance Kid' at The Grimfaced Gelding Drive-In Theater back in Crawford, Texas when it first came out back in 1969.

I was 23-years-old and I was dating the beautiful daughter of the town's unlicensed proctologist, I think his name was Dr. Stausfogel, or maybe it was Dr. Fogelstraus.

At any rate my girlfriend's name was Wanda Yvette Corinthian, or was it Marla Sue Sobolaski? Wow, it looks like I ain't leaving the presidency none too soon huh?

Well any way Wanda Marla, I mean Yvette Sue had the longest blondest hair I had ever seen. I think her family was originally from Sweden...or maybe Iceland, heck it's been so long I can't recall.

Lacey Anne Waterloo, yeah that's it, I remember my girlfriend's name now because she had her initials, 'LAW' tattooed on her bikini line.

Yeah, it was Lacey Anne because she told me that her aunt by marriage was Cloris Leachman who was in the original Paul Newton and Robert Redchevy film.

I watched old Clorets in Dancing With The Stars. Heck when 'Butch Cassidy & The Sundance Kid' came out old Clarissa was probably about 60. Let me see, 1969...that was 40 years ago, so that puts the old gal right at 100.

Well, I'll say one thing for old Claudette Leashmire...she don't look bad for a 100-year-old senora...ah that means woman in Spinach.

Hey and speaking of Spinach, I sure am looking forward to working with that sexy-lookin' Eva Logarithm-Parchesi.

I'll say one thing for the young muchacha, that means girl in Spinach...she sure does have one gorgeous-looking you-know-what. And the word I'm thinking about rhymes with class."

Bush was grinning from ear-to-ear as he added, "You know I saw her in a bikini swimsuit in the December issue of 'Mamacita's Illustrated' and I swear this old Texas country boy pert near damn swallowed his tongue."

The soundtrack is being written by Burt Bacharach and Hal David. Songs will be performed by The Eagles, Ellen DeGeneres, Mannheim Steamroller, LL Cool J, Neil Young, Wolf Blitzer, Cross Canadian Ragweed, Ryan Seacrest, and Anderson Cooper.

In related news. Eva Longoria-Parker who portrays Etta Place is related through marriage to Bonnie Parker, Quanah Parker, Colonel Tom Parker, and the Parker Brothers (of Monopoly fame.)

Make Abel Rodriguez's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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