(Washington DC) Authorities are expecting millions of loyal supporters to show for Obama at the inauguration next week. Authorities are also expecting millions of frost bite cases to plague the festivities. Temperatures are forecast to be in the teens and twenties throughout the ceremony. Thousands of frozen limbs and thousands of emergency amputations are also forecast.
Betty Boob is an enthusiastic Obama supporter and she also heads something called PHOOL (People Helping Out Obama Lunatics). Betty will be one of the many volunteers helping the frozen crowds with blankets, hot chocolate and pain killers.
"Let's face facts. Obama supporters are the brightest people around. They need looking after. " said Betty. "The inauguration will be just like the Special Olympics. We will be there to help the helpless."
PHOOL officials say the average IQ of the crowd should match the wind chill--about zero!
"If someone looks frozen we will just throw a blanket on them." said Betty. "We will also help people to the emergency medical tents for amputation of frozen noses, fingers, and toes. Hopefully not to many of the pathetic crowd freezes to death. The poor Obama-trons just can't help themselves!" she laughed.