Written by Morgan Truce
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Tuesday, 15 June 2004

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THE WHITE HOUSE (AP) Richard Tubb, M.D., director of the White House Medical Unit and President Bush's personal physician told reporters that President George W. Bush had to undergo emergency treatment last night for an "uncontrolled erection".

Summoned by Laura Bush, Doctor Tubb and four Secret Service agents held the Presidential member under ice water for several hours and forced the President to look at 'naked Bea Arthur photos" until it resumed a more 'normal' size. The First Lady says she became quite concerned "...when George just wouldn't stop after four hours of painful intercourse. He's usually good for just a minute or two at the most, but last night he started popping those Viagra pills after that oyster dinner and he got kind of wild. When he started in on Barney, I figured I'd better call the doctor!"

Soon after the ice water/Bea Arthur treatment, President Bush admitted that his old friends "Dick" Cheney and "Big" John Ashcroft gave him the illegal bottle of Viagra and six porno DVDs: "Those guys sure pulled a big boner this time! Laura is really upset with both of them. She said she was going to tell Mom and Dad about what I'd done, so I guess I'm in real big trouble now... but I sure am glad that "Little Georgie" is back to his normal self."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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