Viewers were stunned when they tuned into what was billed as President George W. Bush's final address. After just 30-seconds into the Thursday evening speech, the outgoing chief executive stood up, walked to the front of his Oval Office desk, yanked down his pants and mooned the nation.
"Suckers!" he yelled between his legs, "Guess what, America? You're not going to wake up tomorrow next to Suzanne Pleshette. She's dead!"
Larry J. Sabato, one of Virginia's most-quoted political science professors, called the episode "historical." He further suggested that the 43rd president was "drinking again, and I don't mean Sanka."
"For a leader looking for a legacy, it doesn't get any better than this," Sabato said. He explained that Bush will not be remembered for the Great Recession, the Iraq War or his failed presidency. From this moment on, the two-term Republican will be "equated with showing his fat ass on television."
After displaying his rear-end, Bush retrieved his pants and returned to his seat behind the HMS Resolute Desk. He folded his hands, and then began to sing "For He's a Jolly Good Fellow" followed by AC/DC's "Back in Black." All of the four major TV networks, as well as their counterparts on cable, dumped out of the feed just as Bush screamed, "I got nine lives. Cat size. Usin' every one of them and I'm runnin' wild."