NEW YORK (AP) The Pulitzer Organization announced this morning that Matt Drudge would be the recipient of the 2004 Pulitzer Prize for Explanatory Reporting. Mr. Drudge received the Pulitzer Prize for his clear, concise and comprehensive stories that illuminated the roots, significance and impact of political scandals in America. Spoof reporter, Morgan Truce tracked down the famous internet sleuth at the blocked up rusty school bus where the elusive Drudge eats and sleeps.
Spoof: "Mr. Drudge, how do you manage to get the goods on so many politicians?"
Drudge: "Mostly just dumb luck. One time I was just reaching for a half smoked Don Diego cigar laying on Pennsylvania Avenue, when Bill Clinton beat me to it. So I just followed him... and that cigar led to the story about that intern Monica what's her name...! President Clinton gave me that cigar a few months later, and you know, it had a pretty good flavor when I finally got around to smoking it."
Spoof: "Wow! That's amazing Mr. Drudge, but how do you get so many stories? Every time I click on the Drudge Report, you seem to have some breaking news that no other reputable newspaper would cover."
Drudge: "Well sonny, I'll let you in on a secret... it's all in the hat. When you wear a hat like mine, everyone just assumes you're a reporter and they start giving you hot leads. Here... let me give you one of my old hats."
Spoof: "Whew! That hat smells pretty bad... but I'll never take it off. Thanks a lot Mr. Drudge... and congratulations on that Pulitzer Prize!"
Drudge: "OK kid, now you'd better get out'a here... it's Thursday and I have to change my underwear..."