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Monday, 12 January 2009

image for Revolution in Venezuela Reported
"Adios Amigo"

Washington DC: It is being reporting that a revolution has taken place in Venezuela.

Confirmation has been received from Speedy Gonzalez the leader of the Junta of Army Generals, which deposed President Hugo Chavez in a bloodless coup. President Hugo Chavez is currently under house arrest and will be exiled to a "Devils" Island prison located in Crawford TX, USA.

General Gonzalez said "the army had to take some action because the decreasing price of oil combined with President Chavez's outrageous socialistic spending programs has caused our country to incur a national debt." He added "our principle source of revenue is oil exports." The General would not confirm a rumor that Venezuela's is returning to a capitalistic economy, will undo the nationalization of its oil industry and invite back the American oil companies.

Washington DC analysis types indicate that there probably will be no change in USA Venezuela relations in the short term, as long as Russian ships continue to make port calls there. However, the weekly poker and beer bash of the three amigos Hugo Chavez, Fidel Castro and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has been suspended.

Former President Fidel Castro of Cuba said "I am saddened by the news that my good friend President Hugo Chavez is out of the socialism business and will miss our little poker parties, but he cheats at poker." Fidel than asked his brother President Raoul Castro to allow the Cuban people to purchase prunes from the USA.

Washington DC analysis types indicate that this gesture of purchasing something from the USA is not a sign that American Cuban relations are thawing, but is due to Fidel being 82 years old.

A sobbing President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad of Iran commented "I understand Hugo's financial dilemma about decreasing oil revenues affecting income. So I am going to raise taxes on the Iranian people to allow me to hire more homicide bombers." He later added "I don't have Hugo to sell my weapons (labeled as tractor parts) to anymore. Hugo does cheat at poker like me, but I will miss Fidel's cigars (don't tell the Ayatollah)."

President Elect Obama has hinted he might meet with the Iranian president, when he takes office. Washington pundits are hinting that "the new president feels it's time for tough minded diplomacy by taking a hard line with this Iranian asshole, putting on the rubber gloves and giving him a nuclear enema." Washington DC analysis types had no comment, in fact they couldn't be found.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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