Written by Exislanda
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Thursday, 8 January 2009

image for New 50th State Lottery
It could not be agreed which star should be deleted.

Following his re-sale of Alaska to the Russians, Gov. Blogojevich announced a World Lottery to choose the new 50th State of the Union.

When it was pointed out that his unilateral actions had nullified the flag and many people's collections of State quarters, he reportedly telephoned the Puerto Rican Senate President McClintock to offer them the honor. The immediate response was, "¡Mamagwabo! ¿¿¿Cuánto???"

Unperturbed, Blogo hatched his plan to sell Statehood by World Lottery, with tickets at $10,000,000.00 each.

It has been reported that Georgia were the first to register interest, but the Black Sea country was at first ruled ineligible as it was suggested that it could create confusion in the Electoral Caucasus. Georgia said that if they were to win they would rename themselves Notossetia, and were then allowed to purchase their ticket.

Iraq and Iran both said they would not be interested unless Americans promised to pronounce their names correctly.

Prime Minister George Brown of the United Kingdom bought four tickets, (one for each member of the United kingdom)with funds from the state owned Royal Bank of Scotland. He said, "If we win, it will enhance our Special Relationship!".

Osama Bin Ladin also applied, but his application was refused as it was unclear if he was applying on behalf of Afghanistan or Pakistan.

Israel expressed some confusion, believing themselves to already be part of the USA.

The Turks and Caicos Premier purchased three tickets, and said "Should we win, then we will not need to have a Commission of Enquiry". The FBI are watching the result with interest.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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