Written by Chuck Terzella
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Monday, 14 June 2004

image for Colin Powell: Not a Happy Camper...Needs New Gear
The Right Gear Makes All The Difference

Secretary of State Colin Powell has characterized himself as "not a happy camper" during comments made regarding the 2003 Terrorism Report debacle. While this reporter has no idea what the Terrorism Report is all about, one can easily understand what it feels like to not be "a happy camper". It's a question of finding the right gear...backpacks, hiking boots, tents, etc.

While Secretary Powell, as an ex military man, must be used to Army Surplus gear, perhaps he is unaware of the advances made in outdoor wear and equipment. Today's lightweight fabrics and engineered hiking shoes can make a world of difference when you're camping, whether it's during an terrorist related evacuation or a simple trip to visit Mother Nature...or what's left of it after four years of Bush Environmental Initiatives.

We suggest that first Secretary Powell gets himself a subscription to Backpacker Magazine. Backpacker is an excellent source for reviews on the latest hiking and camping gear. A visit to a retail store like Eastern Mountain Sports or Bass Pro Shops can give you an excellent ‘hands on' experience.

Of course, the latest gear can be pricey, especially on a Secretary's wage, so we recommend a Google visit to Campmor for a copy of their catalog. While it's hard to get a feel for what you're looking at in Campmor's catalog, if you know what you want you can find some great deals there.

So Secretary Powell, if you want to be a ‘happy camper' don't let yourself be terrorized by that old Army Surplus gear and get yourself into the latest breathable, lightweight and sturdy hiking apparel.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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