Written by Madame Bitters
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Thursday, 8 January 2009

image for George W. Bush Signs Bill that Cecedes Texas from the Rest of the US
We can now add President of Texas to this list of 'accomplishments'

Austin, TX- It's official: George W. Bush has pulled another fast one, this time on the people of Texas.

With only a few days left in second term as Commander in Chief, President Bush wanted to be aboslutely certain that his administration will go down in history as the most disastarous.

You, the reader, may be wondering what else this one man wrecking crew can do with only a precious few days left in office.

President George W. Bush has ceceded the former state of Texas from the US.

That's right. Texas is now its own country.

While legislators in all 50- no wait- all 49 states and the new principality of Texas are flabbergasted at George the Younger's brazen actions, it seems he's broken no actual laws.

"Anyone who is familliar with Texas history knows that Texas was a country after it's independence was won from Mexico," says Mrs. Luella Alvis, a seventh grade Texas government and history teacher employeed by Birdville Independant School District.

"For a period of ten years after winnning independece from Mexico and before being annexed to the USA, Texas was a nation unto itself."

Mrs. Alvis goes on to say there is a loophole in the Texas Constitution that gives Texas a way out of statehood if things don't work out between Texas and the USA within a reasonable ammount of time.

"There's no set period of time, like a year or a decade, written in the Constitution," lectures Mrs. Alvis.
"All that's written is 'a reasonable ammount of time.' Who's to say what's reasonable these days? I guess 173 years of statehood doesn't qualify as reasonable now a days."

This loophole sat dormant in the Texas Constitution for decades- until word of it reached President Bush.

Before Bush the Younger signed the necessary papers to grant Texas sovergnity, it was rumored he would settle in the Dallas area. Now, it seems he has his eye on a prime piece of real estate- the Capital Building in Austin, TX.

"It doesn't take a genius to see what Bush's end game is," said a source close to the State Department. "He's had a taste of power and he doesn't want to be a former president. Since he can't be President of the United States of America anymore, he's decided to become the President of Texas"

"He was Govenor of Texas for two terms and during that time he grew to identify with the people who live here," continued the annonymous source. "There's no question about it: he likes being the boss.

"Once someone brought that loophole in the Texas Constitution to his attention, even he could see the possibilities. And we aren't talking about the brightest bulb in the box here, either."

And what do the people of Texas think about their new-found nation-hood? While the opinions among the citizens of this fledgling country vary widely, one thing is clear. The illegals are getting the hell out of dodge.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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