Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Thursday, 8 January 2009

image for Blagojevich's Tavern to Open in Chicago Illinois
"My Kind of Town"

Chicago IL, November 2, 2010: Former Republican State Treasurer Judy Baar Topinka has unseated the Democratic Governor Rod Blagojevich in a close election contest. Governor Blagojevich had been accused of selling President Barack Obama's vacated Senate seat in 2008. The governor narrowly survived "pay to play" impeachment proceedings held by the Illinois State Legislature in 2009.

Governor Blagojevich was in the middle of his second term in 2008 and ran for a third term, as there are no term limits for the Illinois governorship. Republican Judy Baar Topinka lost to Governor Blagojevich in the November 2006 Gubernatorial election. Former Illinois Attorney General Roland Burris, appointed in 2009 to complete the remaining two years of President Barack Obama's Senate term, ran on the Green Party ticket.

Reporters from the Chicago Tribune were able to interview Governor Blagojevich in the Al Capone Ballroom of the InterContinental Hotel, which was littered with confetti and empty beer bottles. The soon to be ex-Governor was in a complete state of shock. Mr. Chester A Riley the Governor's pollster was repeating over and over "what a revolting development this is" as his polling numbers prior to the election were completely out to lunch, showing the incumbent Democrat as an easy winner. He added "it's as if every registered Democrat in the state lied to us!" Richard M Daley, the Mayor of Chicago was quoted as saying "sorry Rod you've lost your charisma!"

After regaining his composure Governor Blagojevich said "I should have realized something was wrong in 2008, when my approval rating was only 20% in a Democratic state and that lame duck Republican President George W Bush's was 32%." The reporters pressed on with their questions about what's next for you governor, another run for a political office, a judgeship perhaps, Chicago Police Chief, Law or Political Science Professor, Chicago Tribune editor, Board of Election Official, US Postal Inspector, a lineman for the Chicago Bears or a Washington DC lobbyist?

"No I am going to do something I have always wanted to do. When I was a kid, I used to listen to Duffy's Tavern" on the radio, I always wanted to be a bartender! You know like Archie behind the bar saying when the phone used to ring "Duffy's Tavern, Duffy ain't here, Archie speaking." Then I got into politics, but you know, like Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice wanting to be NFL Commissioner, I never lost the dream!

Blagojevich's Tavern is to be located on beautiful Lake Michigan, two miles East of Navy Pier. The tavern will feature a full line of beers, wines and an authentic Chicago food menu (no humble pie). Look for the distinctive dyed black thatched roof while driving on North Lake Shore Drive.

Make Philbert of Macadamia's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 3 multiplied by 3?

7 20 21 9

Go to top