AP, Hollywood, Stardate 17549. Democrats unanimously praised the choice of Vin Diesel as the answer to the 2004 ticket. "As soon as I heard he was back in the galaxy, I had to offer him the VP spot," said Presidential candidate John Kerry, "I mean the guy saved the living and the dead, he can certainly save my candidacy". Diesel, exhausted from fighting the Necromongers, immediately accepted the position. He noted that although he has responsibilities for a number of galaxies, he thinks earth is in one of them.
By opening this door, Kerry hoped that other members of the Screen Actor's Guild would consider accepting key cabinet positions. Republicans cried copyright foul since Kerry was employing their patented movie star strategy. Overnight, Kerry jumped 1000 points in the Gallup "tough-guy" poll. Terrorists claim total confusion and want to know if Kerry is appointing "XXX" or Riddick?
A tired but pleased Diesel said that his first official act as Vice President would be to find out who John Kerry is.