American President-elect Barack Obama, who has made speeches about everything from the global economy to the problems of cutting dogs' toenails, has been tragically made dumb, as the conflict in Israel worsens.
One doctor, speaking from Washington DC, said: 'Mr. Obama suddenly lost the power of speech last week, and has been unable to say anything about the crisis in Israel. Though this is some relief for the Israelis and Palestinians, as they wouldn't have enjoyed the Senator's patronising, childish soundbites, it has meant that the future leader of the USA has been unable to say anything about Israel, as it launches air strikes against harmless civilians. Something that the rest of the world sees as mass-murder. We expect Mr. Obama's vocal cords to recover just as soon as it's convenient.'
The dumbness explains why the Democrat politician hasn't uttered a word against Israel, or said anything about nearby American soldiers - dedicated to fighting terror and restoring democracy in Iraq - allowing the Israeli Defence Force to shamefully use its full military powers against the civilian population of Gaza.
The doctor added: 'Of course this is terror, and if the Senator hadn't been struck dumb then of course he would have led the world in its criticism of the mass-murder going on in Israel. But by the time he can speak again, I guess either the crisis will have ended or the IDF will have killed all the Palestinians - maybe both! OK, just a little humor to lighten up the situation.'
Few Americans were bothered about the dumbness, as Israel only exists due to their funding, and especially their funding of jets and tanks, but of course one man's terrorist-ruled fascist country is another man's peaceful democracy - depending on which one is buying your missiles.
Now, if only the Palestinians could get together a few million to buy some jets and tanks, well, that might just mean Senator Obama would suddenly recover his voice to say that Israel is behaving disgracefully, and is murdering innocent civilians, and its own ones at that. Few expect his voice to recover just now, though, but it will when another Arabic demon figure is invented by the CIA.
'As soon as the Senator is better', the doctor said, 'I'm going to Israel to do volunteer work at the children's hospital in Gaza, they need doctors like me to deal with all the burns and disfigurements the Israeli jets are causing. If there's a Gaza left by then!'
David Ben-Gurion tried to turn in his grave today, but unfortunately an Israeli bomb had blown it and a few nearby children to pieces.