Written by Madame Bitters
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Sunday, 4 January 2009

Chicago, IL- There seems to be no end in sight to Ilinois govenor Rod Blagojevich legal woes.

In addition to charges that Gov. Blagojevich attempted to auction off Barak Obama's vacant senate seat and accusations of shaking down a variety of charities, it was announced today that Govenor Blagojevich is being sued for copyright infringement.

The plaintiff is Big Boy, the owner of the famous chain of diners.

Big Boy has accused Blagojevich of stealing the hairstyle and various other well known traits of Kip, the mascot of the Big Boy diners.

Harlan Oinkers, the official spokesperson of Big Boy made this statement at the time the lawsuit against Blagojevich was announced:

"Everyone associated with Big Boy, from the CEO down to Manuelito, the busboy in diner #254 just outside Boise can see the uncanny resemblance between our wholesome mascot, Kip and Blagojevich. Since Kip was here first, before Blagojevich was even born it's obvious he stole Kip's persona. There's no other explanation."

Oinkers went on to say, "Big Boy diners are a slice of Americana. Who doesn't remember going on cross country road trips and seeing the 40 foot Kip the Big Boy eyesore dwarfing the diner?

"Kip is a restaurant icon, right up there with Ronald McDonald and Wendy. We at Big Boy certainly don't want an asshole like Blagojevich associated with Kip. Business has already dropped off 11% since the Blagojevich scandal. It's a marketing nightmare."

When Blagojevich's legal team was asked for a statement concerning Big Boy's lawsuit, they refused to acknowledge it as a serious problem.

"When was the last time anyone ever saw a Big Boy diner?" asks Julius Roklophick, Esq.

"My client, Govenor Blagojevich has modeled his political persona after Robert Kennedy. Can't you tell?"

More on this story as it develops.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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