Hidden surveillance tapes hidden in the women's restroom of the White House have exposed a scandal of unbelievable magnitude - Sarah Palin is really Dick Cheney in drag.
The security tape has captured Cheney dressing in some of the $150,000 worth of clothing that the Republican's bought for Palin when she was nominated for the Vice President role. Cheney apparently started the ruse to continue his hold on power as the behind-the-scenes 'Putin of America'.
Apparently after the first couple weeks of the nomination Cheney's henchmen captured Palin and has been held in the VP's secret location. No one has noticed the change, including Palin's husband 'First Dude' Todd even in intimate moments, which is really disgusting and creepy to think about.
Other evidence supports this:
- Palin's fixation with guns.
- Her (His?) aggressive Right Wing stance.
- Her embarrassment over siblings with sexual problems that have gained public notice.
An unwillingness to be interviewed.
- Uncompromising attitudes on issues no matter if they have been proved wrong-headed.
Cheney, unwilling to let go of his grip on power, perceived McCain as yet another fool who could be manipulated from behind the scenes. By disguising himself as a woman, Cheney figured that no one would recognize him and that he could also act out certain fantasies he'd had since high school.
Secret Service man eventually felt something was amiss when Cheney would appear at work with traces of makeup on his face. Aides became nervous when he would send them out to pick up nylons. Even President Bush pulled his head out of his bum long enough to notice that on occasion Cheney would start speaking in that Midwestesque accent of Palin's.
On the rare occasion that Palin and Cheney were to appear at the same event Cheney would have Tina Fey substitute for her under threat of being waterboarded nude before a bunch of horny Marines fresh off the plane from Iraq.
What is of great embarrassment is that Cheney's openly gay daughter made an amorous pass on the Alaskan Governor at a Republican conference. The disownment proceedings will begin next week in Wyoming.
What has everyone puzzled is how Cheney managed to make himself look so hot as Palin, which is really scary.
DVD's of Cheney's 'sex change' in the women's room of the White House are available for $40 from the Secret Service Slick Sidelines website www.thethingswe'veseen.web under the title 'Vice-Presidents Gone Wild'. Also available from this site are semi-nude DVD's of the Bush daughters and Nancy Pelosi.