Written by Aspartame Boy
Print this
Topics: Aspartame

Thursday, 1 January 2009

image for FDA Approves Agent Orange as Flavor Agent
"I donated a pound of aspartame to the homeless shelter." - "You suck up!"

WASHINGTON DC - Today, on the first day of 2009, FDA spokesperson Dr. Strangedeath announced that Agent Orange is approved as the orange flavor agent. In fact, approval for all other orange flavors, including oranges, is revoked, per the Alimentary Canal Treaty (ACT).

Aspartame continues to be the sweetener of record per the FDA; all other sweeteners, including sugar are now illegal. Products sweetened with corn byproducts are now illegal since the corn is needed to make fuel for SUV's, now that the Big Three are all bailed out.

Anyone caught with sugar will be sent to a FEMA detention camp. Their organs will be harvested. If the sugar is traced to Cuba, the problem will be dealt with summarily.

The FDA also announced the availability of a new drug, Dethease, that counteracts any side-effects of the battle tested Agent Orange.

Make Aspartame Boy's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 1 multiplied by 2?

1 2 25 6
39 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience on our website, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more