Washington DC-- Homeland Insecurity is growing anxious about the possibility of a major clown invasion during January's presidential inauguration. There is speculation up to one-million clowns will invade the capital and cause some type of mischief for the event. The expected battalion of Bozos is already causing concern.
Rupert Giles is a senior consultant for Homeland Insecurity and gave more details.
"The signs are very troubling. We have seen this before." he said. "Rome was infested by clowns just before the Visigoth invasion. Atlanta police reported groups of clowns invading the city in early 1861. Moscow residents were stunned to see columns of clowns marching down the streets in 1917. There was panic in the streets of Berlin in 1933 when clowns went on a rampage, shortly before Hitler came to power. It is all very surreal. This is not good news." he cautioned.
The clowns should be armed with nothing more than banana creme pies and water balloons. They are still considered a threat by Homeland Insecurity.
"We have some undercover agents working as clowns, of course." said Agent Giles. "It is puzzling. They have no leader, they have no agenda. Yet, they all know what to do and where to go and how to behave. It is most peculiar." said the agent.
Clutches of clowns can already be seen in Washington, occupying strategic street corners. They never speak, even to each other, and spend their days staring at the sky.
"These clowns look more like Heath Ledger as the Joker than Bozo the Clown. They are young, dirty, and obviously dangerous. Be careful if you go to Washington." warned the agent.