Written by Rocky Jones
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Topics: Al Gore, Underwear

Sunday, 28 December 2008

image for Al Gore to Donate Long Underwear
Environment - Long of Tooth

Nashville - In a symbolic gesture, Al Gore, is donating all of his long underwear to charity.

The former Vice President announced Wednesday, Christmas Eve, that because of the advancement of Global Warming in our world, neither he, nor anyone else will ever need long underwear again.

Along with long underwear, Mr. Gore will be donating all woolen socks, earmuffs, scarves, mufflers, gloves and "Santa" hats.

In order to give emphaisis to his donation, Mr. Gore will be wearing Bermuda Shorts, flip flops, sunglasses and an inflatable "duck" floatie around his midriff when offering said items.

Sans shirt, Mr. Gore was quoted as saying, "You'd better get used to this bare chest. This is the way I expect most of us will be appearing in public in a very short while, Tipper excluded, of course."

Mr. Gore intends to sport a "baldie" look shortly as well.

"Hair is traditionally thought to have evolved as a result of exposure to cold," he said. "Since, in the future, there will be no cold, why have hair?"

Expanding on this thought, Mr. Gore will shortly be announcing his new program, "Shave the Polar Bear."

"Hair is a real problem in our world," he continued. "Hair causes human and animal bodies to contribute warmth to our environment. Less hair on both man and animal will significantly reduce warming in our atmosphere."

"Flatulence is a problem too" he continued. "The dinosaurs brought about their own demise via flatulence. Therefore, I am suggesting a very high tax on broccoli and other flatulence producers on our produce shelves,"

Mr. Gore made these remarks while cradling his 2007 Oscar for his film, "An Inconvenient Truth."

In a boyish tone, he concluded by saying, "I like my 'Oskie' way more than my Nobel."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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