Orlando, Florida- In response to the Homeland Security Advisory status set by Secretary Michael Chernoff, Circus clowns at the Barnum and Baily/Ringling Brothers Circus were told to upgrade their pie defenses to a much higher level.
Other clowns nationwide took the hint and upgraded their defensive posture, equipping themselves with both Cherry Bomb and Banana-Split Pies, to be readied at all times, set and locked on "Piping Hot" which will kill a person in such an agony that it will discourage any other terrorists within hearing of the screaming.
"We've received our orders from Secretary Chernoff, and we're following standard Hot-Pie Protocol," stated Lt. Bobo, Chief of Security for the Big Top, who's winter home is in Florida.
"We'll be here, on alert, until the current crisis is over, or until we've been given the all-clear signal...a seltzer spray down Bobo's drawers."
We'll also be doing shifts", stated Second Lt. Billy Bo Hornblower, "Clowns off duty will hide in the little car and eat pies that have cooled and been reheated too much for throwing."
The clowns refused to name the location but stated they had several hidden in barrels and with microwaves all along Florida's islands with hidden hot pie catapults to defend the coastlands.