WASHINGTON D.C. - Dr. Strangedeath of the FDA today announced that aspartame is approved for the demummification of mummies.
Normally aspartame consumption is used to reduce the need for embalming material. Ironically, it can also be used to produce stem cells from the cells preserved in mummies.
Early applications involved animals. Lately, in the last five years, human mummies have been brought back to life as well. When the mummies return to life, they recall all the events that occurred in their past lives, as well as the details of their birth.
Birth certificates for the newly alive mummies are somewhat problematic, as was the case of King Tut's demummifcation (a.k.a. Barack Hussein Obama).