Written by susan allen-rosario
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Topics: Congress, Santa, bailout

Thursday, 25 December 2008

image for Congress to bail out Santa
"I just can't make ends meet."

Washington, DC - The bailout plan approved by Congress now in includes special funding to subsidize Santa's workshop toy production.

"I just can't make ends meet," Santa said. "Transportation costs are up and I'm looking into solar powered Reindeer for next season, but in the mean time I'm stuck with the gas-guzzling herd I've got."

Rudolf told reporters that he plans to turn off his nose-light to save energy during off peak hours. Elves lobbying outside the capital to aid Santa held signs that read, "Santa First", "Santa lost so much weight worrying and he looks more like the tooth fairy".

"This is an emergency situation. The world will survive if we lose a few car companies, but the world cannot survive without Santa. It's a sad day when Santa has to go begging,"

The elves also stated that the unemployment rate among "little people" is up 59% since Willie Wonka closed his chocolate factory and laid-off all the Oompa-Loompas.

"There are not enough circuses and freak shows in the world to employ us, barring a remake of the Wizard of Oz, if Santa goes T.U."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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