Written by Morse
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Thursday, 25 December 2008

image for Obama Team Forms Most Powerful Real Estate Investment Arm in Wake of Madoff Meltdown!
Tugs Push off Another cash Laden Freighter Bound for Nigerian in Latest Dem Power Scam!

Washington,DC/ Real Estate News - Capitalizing on the country's financial woes leading to a complete real estate and mortgage collapse, three of Obama's strongest supporters have leveraged their way into becoming the Country's largest, and most powerful, Real Estate Investment Trust (REIT) guaranteed to earn billions!

Led my new Cabinet appointee, Penny Pritzker, In charge of Real Estate Acquisitions, Patty Bladgjevich, (P.Blago) Real Estate Sales Person of the year, and with the muscle of Obama's militant political action arm, ACORN, the team has forged an agreement with the country's last 3 standing banks to take ownership of over 4 million foreclosed homes in the US.

Under the deal, in exchange for Billions in Bail Out funds supplied by the Democratic Congress headed by Barney Frank, Nancy Pelosi and Chris Dodd, to the banks to make them "whole", the institutions will turn the deeds and titles over to the REIT free of charge.

In order to avoid financial scrutiny, should any Republicans inquire, the REIT will temporarily be housed under the umbrella of the Obama Presidential Library currently under construction, and soliciting contributions, in Nigeria, preferred home of other financial scam entities.

Nigeria will also be performing all accounting functions for the fund, much as it did for recently "outed" financial guru Bernard Madoff who can't seem to explain the disappearance of $50B of invested funds and blames it on "bad accounting," saying the money "must be lying around somewhere!" Nigerian officials say the Madoff Investigations are "racial motivated", charges now being backed by the ACLU and Barbra Streisand.

Seen as another entity to secure the Obama legacy and a stranglehold on the unwashed electorate, the real estate move will provide millions of homes for currently unemployed ACORN volunteers who helped Obama slide into the Presidency.

Backed by the new Attorney General, Eric Holder, he of infamous fame under President Clinton for pardoning financial embezzlers of note, ACORN eviction teams will be removing any homeowners refusing to vacate their foreclosed homes.

Under the scheme, House Banking Chairman, Barney (Fanny) Frank has made arrangements for deductions from the new residents welfare checks to be made automatically, and deposited in the Nigerian based REIT's accounts.

House Ways and Means Chairman, Rep. Charles Wrangle, (sic), in charge of writing and enforcing IRS tax rules has quickly rammed through a tax code to forgive any Income Taxes on money deposited in Nigerian Banks. The Congressman, already in tax trouble, has also recently changed his residency to Nigeria, effectively stopping a House Ethics Committee investigation into his unpaid taxes on various murky investments.

Joining him in residency will be The Reverend Al Sharpton, who said he was unable to supply any records for his "charitable trusts" which have earned him millions, and for which he is $1.9M in tax debt, including unpaid employee withholding.

Pritzker, the billionaire Chicago real estate mogul, and chairman of the failed Chicago Superior Bank, one of the first blown up by irresponsible mortgage lending to unemployed Chicago voters to increase their Democratic voter base, said the REIT will be recognized by the New York Stock Exchange on Jan 21, a day after the inauguration.

Listed under the symbol, PON-Z, the stock is expected to open at $130 per share, and according to investment GURU Cramer could soar to $1150 by the close of the day due to billions of uninvested funds lying around under investors mattresses just waiting to be scammed again!

Make Morse's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 multiplied by 4?

2 10 20 4

Go to top