Written by Bureau
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Topics: Poo

Tuesday, 23 December 2008

image for Visitor Pooping Like There Was No Tomorrow
"I can't hold my breath any longer!"

According to fellow Furrytown Library visitors awaiting to see the Veterans Representative and in line near the men's restroom, Bernie "Fat" Andrews, 64, was in there pooping as if it were the best thing that ever happened to him.

"From the grunting and 'Wheewee!' and "Oh Yeah!!" sounds he's been making for the last thirty minutes that we've all been hearing out here in the back of the library, you'd think it was the culmination of a lifelong dream," said Billy Ray "Sarge" Renfrow, moments after stepping away back another step from the water fountain.

"Some poor little kid got scared and ran for his mama crying after he came back here for a drink. I mean, this is one seriously passionate hockey," added Red Woodcock, another Vietnam Vet.

"Sarge" theorized that Andrews' overly enthusiastic bowel-movement-avoiding is somehow related to the fact that he didn't want to lose his place in order to see the Vet Rep and the three extra helpings of sausage biscuits and gravy with extra gravy he had at the Firm Boy while waiting for the library to open.

The "Tilford TypePecker Voice" has since learned that the library has closed down for the rest of the day and that all veterans can now see the Vet Rep at the Furrytown Mission on South Main Street. That's all veterans who wish to see the Vet Rep, she's now at the Furrytown Mission. Before going over there, you might help yourself to the paper bags that the library assistant is now handing out for Mr. Andrews has left the premises and headed back to the Firm Boy Restaurant.

(Tilford TypePecker Voice)

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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