The evidence is crystal clear: Barack Obama was NOT born anywhere in Africa or America. He was infact conceived as a result of inbreeding on an isolated island - somewhere around the Amazon - to the albino Chungawonga tribe.
However, seeing that Barack (then called Baark) was born dark-skinned and not albino, he was considered a bad omen to his people and thus had to be sacrificed to the 'water god of dealing with bad omens'.
With a mudvest (a vest made from dried mud) as his only protection, baby Baark was set on a bamboo raft and pushed off the island into unchartered waters.
Thirteen days later, young Baark (or Barack) was discovered somewhere along the Hawaiian shoreline by his newly aquired Grandparents - the Dunhams. It seems that Barack survived his journey by nibblng on his mudvest as he was allegedly found naked.
"We - Stanley and I, were just about to leave the beach when we found little Obama in what seemed to be a raft of some sort. I bent over to get a closer look at him, then Stanly tapped my...sorry. Ahem. And at that moment, he urinated on my face. Once i managed to get the piss out of my eyes, it was love at first sight. We had to keep him. We fed him asparatame and peanut butter everyday. Asparatame butter we called it." - Ann Dunham
Mrs Dunham was able to 'litterally' produce Obamas birth certificate right there infront of us (Spoof writer Jalapenoman even helped her colour in the edges) therefore ending the ongoing questions concerning the President Elects birth. It has thus been concluded that Barack Obama is infact an Amazonian.