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Tuesday, 23 December 2008

image for Obama Buys Hawaii Ocean Front Estate: Camp Hussein to Replace Camp David as Presidential Retreat!
Obama's New Presidential Retreat Showing Relatives Camping on Beach

Hawaii/ Real Estate News - It was announced today that President Elect Barack Hussein Obama II had purchased a $15M ocean front estate that had been on the market for 5 years in a flagging real estate market. Aides say Obama "wanted a change" from the stodgy image presented by the former Presidential retreat known as Camp David and associated with alleged sex orgies by former President Clinton, smoke filled back room deals conducted by Bush stooges, and failed West Bank peace negotiations headed by former President Carter.

Bankrolled with $30M left over from his Presidential campaign fund, which can not be audited since it came from private donors, Obama real estate advisor Penny Pritzker, the Chicago heiress and former Chairman and later board member in the failed Superior Bank of Chicago seized by the Government in 1991 due to abusive SUB PRIME MORTGAGES, recommended the purchase.

Pritzker had agreed to pay back the government $460M over 15 years for the bank failure, but is still 135th on the Forbes List with a net worth of over $2.8B, and recently declined an offer to become Secretary of Commerce due to her failed banking history.

Pritzker also arranged for the RE commission of $900,000 to be steered to Illinois embattled Governor Rod Blagojevich's wife, Patricia , who has made over $700,000 in real estate commissions recently thanks to her husband's connections.

Insiders say Obama OK'd the actions as a token of his loyalty for the Governor's support as he rose in Chicago politics, and in the hopes he will keep his mouth shut while serving easy time at a Federal Country Club still to be named after he is sentenced for severe potty mouth and unbridled greed and corruption. Emanuel, also at risk in a Blago rollover, said they may be able to negotiate to have the Gov. put in charge of the President's jet ski's and give him the beach chair and cabana concession in lieu of Federal time.

A spokesman for the Secret Service, said the cost of upgrading security for the 15,000 square foot mansion, fronting 1500' of open ocean, and sitting on 5 acres of landscaped, unfenced land, would be astronomical, and did not include the added costs to the taxpayer of interior renovations, additions, and window coverings.

The President's chief of staff, Ron F***** Emanuel, said he would be in charge of coordinating the changes, and also have a hand in fulfilling Obama's desire to have a Kenyan Game Preserve in the back yard, with a working Kenyan village of family members that would be in charge of landscaping, feeding the animals, and culling the herd as necessary. A positive by product of the preserve is that welfare offices in Boson, Cleveland, Chicago and Detroit will see a substantial reduction of pay-outs to illegal aliens.

Emanuel said due to the stress of the Presidential job, Obama planned to spend at least 6 months a year at the retreat, but that he would be available as needed by text messaging on his Blackberry.

Madam Speaker, Nancy Pelosi said she welcomes the opportunity to visit the President on items of concern on a periodic basis as she checks in to inspect her Del Monte Pineapple holdings, as well as using it as a refueling stop to zip over to American Samoa to check how the Koreans are doing on the Star Kist Tuna deal she and her husband facilitated.

Patricia Blagojevich said her office will also be handling the rental of the property during periods when the President is out of the country. Additional booking information is available on the Congressional web site for Rep. Charles Wrangle (sic) who has a built in client list for his retreat in the Dominican Republic and currently has a waiting list.

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