Close aides to the President-Elect, Barack Obama, have revealed that he was not born on Earth, but is in fact from a distant star system called Pegasus 31.
Obama vigorously denies the claims, and has a birth certificate written in crayon to prove it.
Conspiracy theorist and columnist in the popular It's All Lies magazine, Purple Mamba*, was the only person willing to talk about the claims.
"I knew it man," said Mamba. "He was, like, too good to be believed, yeh? He had, like, an answer for everything. You can't know that much stuff without alien tech implanted in your head. What I heard was he was force grown in a vat on Pegasus 31 to look human, and they sent him here ten years ago, implanting memories in people about his childhood, but there must have been more than one of 'em 'cos, like everybody has different memories, and they musn't have got their stories straight when implanting those memories. He's the start of an alien invasion, he's softening us up, I swear! I wear this silver foil hat to, like, stop them from implanting fake memories in my head, yeh?"
Mamba took off the foil so it could be examined, at which point his eyes glazed over and he recanted his story: "The previous ramblings were all gibberish from a fevered mind. Please ignore it. In reality, I went to kindergarten with Barak in Oklahoma. He is as American as I am. I invented this story out of jealousy of a Florida boy who has done well for himself. Goodbye."
* Not his real name, he doesn't want you to know his real name in case they get him.