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Tuesday, 23 December 2008

image for Bush gives $17 Billion Holiday Gift to Automakers
"No Thanks"

Washington DC: Following the defeat of the $47 Billion "Automaker Bailout Bill" in the US Senate, a meeting was convened in the White House Oval Office. Meeting participants included Bush Administration Officials, the Automaker Chief Executive Officers (CEO's), the United Autoworkers (UAW) President and former Vice President Al Gore representing President Elect Obama.

The Automaker CEOs and the UAW President reiterated the steps that would be taken to insure the viability of their respective companies and that all loans would be repaid. "The automakers will restructure and eliminate some car lines, terminate all of top and middle management (no golden parachutes), negotiate down their supplier costs and the UAW will take large wage and benefit cuts."

Bush Administration Officials and Al Gore categorically stated that these steps were not good enough, such that only a $17 Billion bridge loan would be allocated to the automakers. Furthermore, a "get well plan" and additional concessions must be in place by March 31, 2009 or no more funding would be forthcoming.

The Automaker CEOs and the UAW President promised that "a new cutting edge technology gasoline/hybrid car design, which is carbon free and fuel efficient, would soon be in production." During operation all the exhaust gases are captured in an onboard holding tank. At the end of the day, the car is plugged into a 120 VAC outlet to externally power the car's starter motor. The starter motor is used to run the engine backwards, while the stored exhaust gases are fed back into the engine. Walla, a full tank of gasoline is produced!" (On long road trips, suitable highway infrastructure changes are required.)

The bridge loan was approved. The first production models of this new automobile will be in automobile dealer showrooms on April 1, 2009.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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