Detroit, Michigan: Nearly bankrupt before the big auto bailout the Ford Auto Company are considering selling (red) hot cars and providing purchasers with three free dates with their auto models from the car shows in order to become profitable again.
"We are deep in the red," said spokesperson Lincoln Mustang Ford. "It is also time for the Red Light Specials to come out. If you are a nerd, even if you talk through your nose and laugh funny, our models are ready for their dates."
Ford employees fearful of losing their jobs during the restructuring were surprised Tuesday to find used autos on the line to have their identity changed along with all red hot colors. Plus many celebrated the entrance of the model's appearance at the loading docks.
The models took the transition in stride. "This change is the beginning of a whole new life for me", stated Darla Delightful and I welcome it. They've made some great
swimsuit shots and you nerds can pick up a copy free at your nearest Ford dealer."
Once the phrase "All New Ford Pick-ups," ads meant trucks but now have a whole new meaning and they're out there now bringing in customers.
"We expect the freaks will come out and make dad or mom purchase a used vehicle that they can come outside and sit in or drive around the block", stated model Penelope Pussycat (Not her real name). "We models drive also so they can have us cruise around blowing the horn at the college football players. Actually these guys honk too when they laugh...they also snort. "I thought they might yuk and ka-hilk but someone told me that was the dummies."
Meanwhile, the company bosses are slapping themselves on the back and the models on their tails with this new strategy.