Written by Monkey Woods
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Monday, 22 December 2008

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Hard to believe, isn't it? He looks so real!

The mystery surrounding US President-elect Barack Obama and his place of birth, has finally been solved according to reports. Various sites had been cited as his birthplace, such as Nigeria, Kenya and Ireland, but new evidence suggests that Mr Obama wasn't in fact born, but MANUFACTURED in a factory in Sunnyvale, California.

Cyberdyne Systems is a small parts producer for large manufacturers of high tech equipment, which formed in 1984. The company secretly began making technological devices and powerful new microprocessors for weapons systems, and became a major contractor for the US military.

Out of this work, and further research projects, advanced-model cyborgs were developed. After early T-600 and T-800 models, the T-1000 version proved almost indestructible, but one more model was made.

The T-1001 was developed ten years ago as a single-issue model.

Barack Obama is that cyborg.

Built using "mimetic poly-alloy", an intelligent liquid metal, a T-1000 had the ability to change its appearance and emulate virtually anything. It was capable of perfectly copying the shape, color, and texture of anything that it touched of similar size or volume. The only restriction was that it could not form "complex machines", such as "guns and explosives" because they "have chemicals, moving parts." The only weapons it could form were "solid metal shapes", such as "knives and stabbing weapons."

The T-1001 has one major advancement over the T-1000 - it's half-black.

President-elect Obama, who takes over at the White House in January, is known to have close links with California Governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger, with whom he has a 'special understanding'.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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