Written by Gurmeet Mattu
Print this

Monday, 22 December 2008

President-Elect Barack Obama is suggesting a return to slavery as a way out of the current economic downturn with millions threatened with unemployment.

"History only give us a negative impression of the institution of slavery," he said at a recent press conference. "Modern day slavery would have no racist connotations and would be strictly controlled."

He went on to detail the steps he thought necessary to revive the practice which has been outlawed in the civilised world for over a hundred years.

"Being a slave would be open to all, regardless of race, colour or creed and similarly, being a slave owner would be equal opportunity. The slave owner would not be permitted to punish his slave in any physical fashion, apart from mild spanking, and any disputes would be resolved by an independent arbitrator. The slave owner would contract to provide his slave with housing, food and a decent standard of living including health-care, while the slave would offer his labour on an unwaged basis."

"The truth is that we have got things wrong," Obama explained, "People today aren't looking for jobs, they're looking for wages, which is quite a different thing. But if you take wages out of the equation and supply the necessities of life which those wages would have bought, you have a whole new ball game. Communism has collapsed, capitalism has collapsed, slavery's time has come."

Make Gurmeet Mattu's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Stop - Warning

The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature.

This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

To confirm you have acknowledged this warning, and wish to continue to read the article, please click the following link.

Otherwise, please click here to go back to the home page.


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 3 multiplied by 1?

5 1 8 3
54 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more