Written by Warren Redlich
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Sunday, 21 December 2008

image for Caroline Kennedy Named to Senate
Caroline Kennedy is way better looking.

Caroline Kennedy will join her uncle Ted in the US Senate in 2009. New York Governor David Paterson announced his choice to replace outgoing Senator Hillary Clinton on Sunday.

"Many people have raised concerns about her lack of experience in elected office," said Paterson, "but that's exactly why she's the best choice." The Governor pointed out in his remarks that others mooted for the job had done a rotten job in Congress or failed to adequately police Wall Street.

Regarding criticism about Caroline Kennedy getting the spot because her father was a President and because of her family name, Paterson was sharp: "Hillary got the Senate because her husband was President. Andrew Cuomo is where he is because his father was Governor. And they've both done terrible. Hillary voted for the stupid war in Iraq, and Wall Street collapsed on Cuomo's watch. It's time for a fresh face."

In related news, Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich nominated Jesse Ventura to replace Barack Obama in the Illinois Senate seat. Blagojevich will get a $300K/year job in professional wrestling starting in 2010.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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